


I must have held your hand so tight

by VisualEcho94



Series: With every move my whole world shakes [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/F, Gen, Takes place right before Skye wakes up in 2x13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-19 05:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3598656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisualEcho94/pseuds/VisualEcho94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He isn't being unkind, but you're worried about her too and you don’t know how to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I must have held your hand so tight

**Author's Note:**

> I guess I wrote another one. Mistakes are mine, I'll work on finding them and setting them right.

You can’t look away from the purple bruises that cover her as you help May change Skye. You want to close your eyes and hope that when you open them again, the purple – almost black – marks will be gone.

You know they won’t be.

May, in a moment of exposure you doubt you’ll see again anytime soon, looks as though she has no idea what to do with her. That makes your chest ache. Constricting until you have the strongest urge to flee, but then you look down at Skye and shove the feeling down. You hope she wakes up soon.

You hope for so much.

That this wasn't happening and she wasn't going through this is always echoing in your mind. But at the moment, all you can ask the powers that be – ones you don’t actually believe in, but it’s SKYE –that she wakes up soon.

The team is stationed around her room – cell – and by the worried (Fitz), upset (Coulson), uncertain (Bobbie), and blank (May and her ex) faces that fill it you’re sure you aren't alone in the thought. You don’t imagine what your face is saying. You don’t really care. Skye’s eye twitches and you lean forward eagerly, but she settles. You’d be more disappointed if you didn't know that this is the first time she’s slept without a nightmare in a long time. You still want her to wake up. You just don’t have it in you to blame her for anything. You can’t even begin to imagine what she is going through. You ignore the sting of knowing it’s because she doesn't tell you about it. She didn't tell you about it and you found out when your entire world was quaking.

It’s a bit understandable really. Skye has made it a point of trying to make you feel like how things use to since you got back, but you suppose if you just had your entire being altered you would be at a loss as well. You can’t even bring it in yourself to blame her. You don’t really know how you’d handle the situation present either. You look at the chart in your hands again – as you have for every other minute – pretending to read her stats. It’s not that you don’t think they aren't important – they are in fact very important – only that you've already memorized them since they haven’t changed at all. Still, you like to have something to do and you are hoping it will distract you a bit. At the very least it will keep your hands busy. You know May and ex-Mr. May aren't fooled at all by it. They may even understand what it is you are doing and why, but they don’t comment and you appreciate it.  

“How much longer do you think till she wakes up?” Coulson asks, one hand holding his elbow as the other rests – fidgets – around his chin. He looks at the unconscious brunette with wide, caring eyes and shifts a small amount in place. You know that look and it makes you want to scream and cry. There shouldn't be a reason that Coulson should have a panicked-Skye-look or a reason you should know them. Intimately. Except you do, because it’s the same look he gets every time Skye is in trouble or hurt or worse. You don’t want to imagine what the next stage of that look would look like.

“Shouldn't be too long, Sir. Her stats seem pretty stable and normal, based on her most recent examinations. While I may not fully understand her altered genetic make-up at this moment–”

“Thank you, Simmons.” He cut you off and you nod your head and force a smile on your face. He isn't being unkind, but you're worried about her too and you don’t know how to help.

You stare back down at her, examining the new gear you worked up. You aren't sure how well they’ll work, but you’re hoping that the current calibration is close enough to at least be helpful for her. You aren't foolish enough to believe that they will help entirely, since you know nothing is just made being perfect. You know that there will be some modifications that need to be made and that the bugs are going to pop up eventually, but the only person with the ability to test them hasn't really been given the opportunity. Still, if they are of any help you’ll count it as a blessing.

You put her chart down and lift one of her arms to get a closer look just to make sure they are secured on right – you've checked twice and know they are. As you set her arm back down, her brow furrows inward in the way it does when she is uncomfortable. You don’t even realize you've reached out to smooth it down with you thumb until Bobbi clears her throat. You can feel your face heat up as your flush reaches your ears, but you don’t stop until Skye’s face relaxes once again. Your fingers stray to tuck away at the loose strands of hair on her face and you wish the two of you were alone. Then you wouldn't be self-conscious about stroking the side of her temple the way she told you she likes on those nights when you’d ended up watching movies with the team, her head almost always winding up in your lap.

You wonder if you’ll ever get those nights back.

Instead you settle for holding her hand. The tips of your fingers caressing the slightly calloused skin of her knuckles. You stare at her purple bruises again. Blink and look at her face. You’re ready for her to wake up. The team is ready for her to wake up. She stays asleep. So you watch her breathing and hope it will calm you.

In and out, up and down. Slow and steady, deep and soft.

It’s something.

A little while later, your own breathing calms more and you let your shoulders relax just so as she begins to gain consciousness. You release her hand and reach down for her chart, seeing slight increases in certain areas, but you’re confident you can help with those. For now, all you want to do is calm her down.

“You’re awake.” _You’re safe_. You hope it’s enough.


End file.
